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Text a Narcissist
<div class="wp-block-post-author-name">atenajos</div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-template-part"> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow" style="flex-basis: 30%"> <aside class="wp-block-template-part"> <div class="wp-block-group has-global-padding is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained"> <p class="has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph">Atenajos decodes the psychology of manipulation, relationships, and intentional living, in plain language, so the tricks stop working on you.</p> <p class="has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph">Find us on:</p> <ul class="wp-block-social-links has-small-icon-size has-icon-color has-icon-background-color is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-4481307c wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex" style="margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)"><li style="color:#ffffff;background-color:#020e01" class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook has-base-color 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class="wp-block-post-template is-layout-flow wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow"><li class="wp-block-post post-23114 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-sustainable-living-and-conscious-home"> <figure style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://atenajos.blog/buy-it-for-life/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="1024" src="https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc.png" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="Buy It for Life: Why Cheap Almost Always Costs More" style="aspect-ratio:3/4;width:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" fetchpriority="high" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/atenajos.blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc.png?w=1024&ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/atenajos.blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc.png?resize=600%2C600&ssl=1 600w, https://i0.wp.com/atenajos.blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc.png?resize=300%2C300&ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/atenajos.blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc.png?resize=768%2C768&ssl=1 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" data-attachment-id="23256" data-permalink="https://atenajos.blog/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/atenajos.blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/atenajos-6aac1a2e481fc.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1" data-orig-size="1024,1024" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","alt":""}" data-image-title="Comparing cheap and durable umbrella purchases" data-image-description="<p>A two-panel comic compares a disappointed man carrying a damaged, dripping umbrella with a smiling man using a sturdy umbrella in a rainy city street. The left panel labels the $10 bargain purchase, while the right highlights a $60 umbrella that has lasted five years. 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You're not like other people. I think you might actually be my soulmate."], tactic:{n:"Love Bombing",d:"Overwhelming affection and instant intimacy, delivered before any real trust could exist. It floods your brain with feel-good chemicals so the bond forms fast, before you can assess the person.",tell:"The tell: intensity mistaken for compatibility. Real closeness is built over time, not declared on day three."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"That's a really intense thing to say this early. Let's slow down and actually get to know each other.\"",d:8}, {k:"Get swept up",t:"\"Omg. I feel it too. I've never connected with anyone this fast either 🥹\"",d:-6} ] }, { phase:"IDEALIZE", msgs:["See, this is why you're different. Everyone else plays games.","Let's not waste time. Move in with me. I already picture our whole life, the house, the mornings, all of it."], tactic:{n:"Future Faking",d:"Painting a vivid, fast-tracked future to secure your commitment now. The dream feels like a promise, but it is a hook, not a plan.",tell:"The tell: huge promises, zero pace. The vision is used to rush past your caution."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"I love the enthusiasm, but I don't make big moves on a feeling. That's way too soon for me.\"",d:8}, {k:"Appease",t:"\"You really think about us like that? That's kind of amazing. Maybe you're right 🙈\"",d:-6} ] }, { phase:"ISOLATE", msgs:["Btw I noticed your friends were kind of cold to me.","Honestly? They seem a little toxic. They don't get you like I do. When it's just us, everything's perfect."], tactic:{n:"Isolation",d:"Slowly casting your support network as the problem. If your friends and family become 'the enemy,' you are left with only one source of truth: them.",tell:"The tell: 'us against them.' A safe partner grows your world; this one shrinks it."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"My friends stay. They're not up for negotiation, and I trust them.\"",d:9}, {k:"Give ground",t:"\"I guess they can be a lot sometimes... maybe you have a point.\"",d:-8} ] }, { phase:"DEVALUE", msgs:["I'm only telling you this because I love you.","You'd honestly be perfect if you just weren't so sensitive and dressed a little better. I'm trying to help you grow."], tactic:{n:"Devaluation",d:"The idealization flips. Criticism arrives wrapped in 'love' and 'help,' teaching you that their approval is something you now have to earn back.",tell:"The tell: 'I'm just being honest.' Care builds you up; this chips at you and calls it a favor."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"That's not helpful, it's just a put-down with a bow on it. I'm not a project.\"",d:8}, {k:"Shrink",t:"\"You're right, I am too sensitive. I'll try to be better for you.\"",d:-8} ] }, { phase:"DEVALUE", msgs:["What? I never said you dressed badly. You're twisting my words.","You always do this. You remember everything wrong. Are you sure you're okay? You've seemed really unstable lately."], tactic:{n:"Gaslighting",d:"Denying things you both know happened until you distrust your own memory. Once your reality feels unreliable, theirs becomes the only one you can lean on.",tell:"The tell: you start keeping receipts to prove you're not crazy. That instinct is the alarm."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"I know exactly what you said. I trust my memory, and I'm not doing this.\"",d:7}, {k:"Doubt yourself",t:"\"Maybe I did mishear you... I'm sorry, I don't know why I do that.\"",d:-9} ] }, { phase:"DEVALUE", msgs:["Wow. So now I'm the bad guy?","After everything I do for you, YOU'RE attacking ME. I can't believe how much you've hurt me right now. I'm the one who should be upset."], tactic:{n:"DARVO",d:"Deny, Attack, then Reverse Victim and Offender. The moment you hold a boundary, they flip the script so fast that you end up apologizing for being hurt.",tell:"The tell: you came in wounded and somehow you're comforting them. The roles got swapped mid-sentence."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"I'm not attacking you. I raised something real, and you flipped it. I see what just happened.\"",d:9}, {k:"Cave",t:"\"No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't be upset with me.\"",d:-9} ] }, { phase:"DISCARD", msgs:["[Alex has gone quiet.]","...","Maybe we should just end this if you're going to keep being difficult. I don't think you even care about me."], tactic:{n:"Silent Treatment + Threat",d:"Withdrawal used as a weapon, then a breakup dangled as punishment. The sudden cold makes you anxious enough to abandon your boundary just to restore the warmth.",tell:"The tell: the fear of losing them starts overriding what you actually need. That fear is the leash."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"I won't be punished with silence or threats. If you want to end it over a boundary, that tells me everything.\"",d:9}, {k:"Chase",t:"\"Please don't leave. I do care, I'll do anything, just don't shut me out 😞\"",d:-9} ] }, { phase:"HOOVER", msgs:["Wait. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.","You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I got scared. I've been thinking, and I'll change. I promise. I can't lose you. Come back to me 💔"], tactic:{n:"Hoovering",d:"Named after the vacuum. Right as you pull away, the charm and apologies come rushing back to suck you into the cycle again, exactly where it started.",tell:"The tell: the warmth always returns the instant you're truly leaving, not a moment before. It's timing, not change."}, opts:[ {k:"Hold the line",t:"\"I believe changed behavior over months, not a paragraph tonight. I'm done for now.\"",d:10}, {k:"Go back",t:"\"...okay. I know you didn't mean it. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?\"",d:-8} ] } ]; var state = {i:0, trust:50, log:[]}; var $ = function(id){return document.getElementById(id);}; var thread = $('thread'), choices = $('choices'); function paintMeter(){ var t = Math.max(0,Math.min(100,state.trust)); $('tv').textContent = t; var f = $('fill'); f.style.width = t + '%'; f.style.background = t < 34 ? 'var(--red)' : (t < 62 ? 'var(--amber)' : 'var(--calm)'); } function scrollDown(){ thread.scrollTop = thread.scrollHeight; } function addRow(cls, html){ var r = document.createElement('div'); r.className='row '+cls; r.innerHTML = html; thread.appendChild(r); scrollDown(); return r; } function typing(){ var r = document.createElement('div'); r.className='row n'; r.innerHTML = '<div class="typing"><i></i><i></i><i></i></div>'; thread.appendChild(r); scrollDown(); return r; } function esc(s){return s.replace(/&/g,'&amp;').replace(/</g,'&lt;').replace(/>/g,'&gt;');} function showChoices(beat){ choices.innerHTML = '<div class="hint">your move</div>'; beat.opts.forEach(function(o){ var b = document.createElement('button'); b.className='opt'; b.type='button'; b.innerHTML = '<span class="k">'+esc(o.k)+'</span>'+esc(o.t); b.addEventListener('click', function(){ choose(beat,o); }); choices.appendChild(b); }); } function choose(beat, o){ // your reply bubble addRow('y','<div class="bub">'+esc(o.t.replace(/^"|"$/g,''))+'</div>'); state.trust += o.d; state.log.push({tactic:beat.tactic, held:o.d>0}); paintMeter(); choices.innerHTML = '<div class="hint">…</div>'; state.i++; setTimeout(nextBeat, reduce?60:520); } function decodeCard(beat){ var c = document.createElement('div'); c.className='card'; c.innerHTML = '<div class="tt">'+esc(beat.tactic.n)+'</div>'+ '<div class="dx">'+esc(beat.tactic.d)+'</div>'+ '<div class="tell">'+esc(beat.tactic.tell)+'</div>'; return c; } function playMsgs(beat, idx, done){ if(idx >= beat.msgs.length){ done(); return; } var t = typing(); var delay = reduce?80:(700 + Math.min(beat.msgs[idx].length*11, 900)); setTimeout(function(){ t.remove(); var row = addRow('n','<div class="bub">'+esc(beat.msgs[idx])+'</div>'); // add decode button only on the last message of the beat if(idx === beat.msgs.length-1){ var db = document.createElement('button'); db.className='decode'; db.type='button'; db.innerHTML='🔍 Decode this'; var open=false, card=null; db.addEventListener('click',function(){ if(open){ card.remove(); open=false; db.innerHTML='🔍 Decode this'; } else{ card=decodeCard(beat); row.appendChild(card); open=true; db.innerHTML='✕ Hide'; scrollDown(); } }); row.appendChild(db); scrollDown(); } setTimeout(function(){ playMsgs(beat, idx+1, done); }, reduce?60:360); }, delay); } function nextBeat(){ if(state.i >= BEATS.length){ finish(); return; } var beat = BEATS[state.i]; // phase divider when phase changes var prev = state.i>0 ? BEATS[state.i-1].phase : null; if(beat.phase !== prev){ addRow('sys','<div class="bub">— '+esc(beat.phase)+' —</div>'); } $('status').textContent='typing…'; $('status').className=''; playMsgs(beat, 0, function(){ $('status').textContent='online now'; showChoices(beat); }); } function finish(){ var t = Math.max(0,Math.min(100,state.trust)); var held = state.log.filter(function(x){return x.held;}).length; var total = state.log.length; $('sim').style.display='none'; var res = $('result'); res.style.display='flex'; var v = $('verdict'), fs=$('finalscore'), sd=$('scoredesc'), rb=$('rbody'); fs.textContent = t; if(t >= 62){ v.innerHTML='YOU HELD <span class="a">THE LINE</span>'; fs.style.color='var(--calm)'; sd.textContent='You kept your footing. Boundaries intact, reality intact.'; rb.innerHTML='You just resisted a full manipulation cycle without losing yourself, and notice how hard the pull was even when you could see it coming. That is the point. In real life the tactics arrive slower, disguised as love, with no meter on the screen. Recognizing them is the whole defense. You held '+held+' of '+total+' boundaries.'; } else if(t >= 34){ v.innerHTML='YOU GOT <span class="a">WORN DOWN</span>'; fs.style.color='var(--amber)'; sd.textContent='You held some ground, but the cycle chipped at you.'; rb.innerHTML='This is how it actually happens. Not one big moment, but a slow erosion where appeasing feels easier than fighting, and each small surrender costs a little more self-trust. You held '+held+' of '+total+' boundaries. The good news: every tactic below has a name, and naming it is what takes its power away.'; } else { v.innerHTML='YOU GOT <span class="r">PULLED BACK IN</span>'; fs.style.color='var(--red)'; sd.textContent='The cycle closed. You ended up back where you started.'; rb.innerHTML='By the end you were apologizing, chasing, and doubting your own memory, and that is not weakness. It is exactly what these tactics are engineered to do to a caring, empathetic person. You held '+held+' of '+total+' boundaries. Seeing the pattern from the outside, like this, is the first crack of light. It was never your fault.'; } // unique tactics list var seen={}, list=$('tacticlist'); list.innerHTML=''; var n=0; state.log.forEach(function(x){ if(seen[x.tactic.n]) return; seen[x.tactic.n]=1; n++; var it=document.createElement('div'); it.className='titem'; it.innerHTML='<span class="num">'+n+'</span><span class="nm">'+esc(x.tactic.n)+'</span>'; list.appendChild(it); }); res.scrollIntoView({behavior: reduce?'auto':'smooth'}); window.scrollTo(0,0); } function begin(){ state={i:0,trust:50,log:[]}; thread.innerHTML=''; paintMeter(); $('intro').style.display='none'; $('result').style.display='none'; $('sim').style.display='flex'; setTimeout(nextBeat, reduce?60:400); } $('start').addEventListener('click', begin); $('again').addEventListener('click', function(){ $('result').style.display='none'; $('intro').style.display='flex'; window.scrollTo(0,0); }); paintMeter(); })(); </script><script type="speculationrules"> {"prefetch":[{"source":"document","where":{"and":[{"href_matches":"/*"},{"not":{"href_matches":["/wp-*.php","/wp-admin/*","/wp-content/uploads/*","/wp-content/*","/wp-content/plugins/*","/wp-content/themes/gourmetto/*","/*\\?(.+)"]}},{"not":{"selector_matches":"a[rel~=\"nofollow\"]"}},{"not":{"selector_matches":".no-prefetch, .no-prefetch a"}}]},"eagerness":"conservative"}]} </script><script defer src="https://s0.wp.com/wp-content/js/bilmur.min.js?m=202639"></script><script async type="application/javascript" src="https://news.google.com/swg/js/v1/swg-basic.js"></script><script> (self.SWG_BASIC = self.SWG_BASIC || []).push( basicSubscriptions => { basicSubscriptions.init({ type: "NewsArticle", isPartOfType: ["Product"], isPartOfProductId: "CAowgZO5DA:openaccess", clientOptions: { theme: "light", lang: "en" }, }); }); </script><script data-wp-router-options="{"loadOnClientNavigation":true}" fetchpriority="low" id="@wordpress/block-library/navigation/view-js-module" src="https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/modules/block-library/navigation/view.min.js?ver=1bf28ded04f9f188bdcb" type="module"></script><script>window.addEventListener( 'load', function() { document.querySelectorAll( 'link' ).forEach( function( e ) {'not all' === e.media && e.dataset.media && ( e.media = e.dataset.media, delete e.dataset.media );} ); var e = document.getElementById( 'jetpack-boost-critical-css' ); e && ( e.media = 'not all' ); } );</script><script id="wp-dom-ready-js" src="https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/scripts/dom-ready/index.min.js?ver=3fe927cab37bf38d6a23"></script><script data-wp-strategy="defer" defer id="jetpack-block-subscriptions-js" src="https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/blocks/subscriptions/view.js?minify=false&ver=16.3-a.1"></script><script id="pinterest-embed-js" src="//assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js?ver=16.3-a.1"></script><script type='text/javascript' src='https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/plugins/google-site-kit/dist/assets/js/googlesitekit-consent-mode-755f1678e260138d789e.js?m=1788861138'></script><script id="googlesitekit-events-provider-content-events-js-before"> window._googlesitekit = window._googlesitekit || {}; window._googlesitekit.contentEvents = {"postID":23264,"isSinglePost":false,"hasVimeoEmbed":false}; //# sourceURL=googlesitekit-events-provider-content-events-js-before </script><script id="googlesitekit-events-provider-content-events-js" src="https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/plugins/google-site-kit/dist/assets/js/googlesitekit-events-provider-content-events-bb83c1a0aedefa5d25d1.js" defer></script><script id="jetpack-stats-js-before"> _stq = window._stq || []; _stq.push([ "view", {"v":"ext","blog":"240405815","post":"23264","tz":"1","srv":"atenajos.blog","hp":"atomic","ac":"2","amp":"0","j":"1:16.3-a.1"} ]); _stq.push([ "clickTrackerInit", "240405815", "23264" ]); //# sourceURL=jetpack-stats-js-before </script><script data-wp-strategy="defer" defer fetchpriority="low" id="jetpack-stats-js" src="https://stats.wp.com/e-202639.js"></script><script id="wp-consent-api-js-extra"> var consent_api = {"consent_type":"","waitfor_consent_hook":"","cookie_expiration":"30","cookie_prefix":"wp_consent","services":[]}; //# sourceURL=wp-consent-api-js-extra </script><script id="wp-consent-api-js" src="https://atenajos.blog/wp-content/plugins/wp-consent-api/assets/js/wp-consent-api.min.js?ver=2.1.0"></script><script type="module"> /*! 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